I am a little mouse dancing and singing alone, dragging the stumps, leaving footprints of different depths.
The most dazzling stage
Since I was born, I've been building this wasteland like stage. I don't have any tools except hands and wisdom. So I use them to reclaim. This is my most beautiful stage. Although it's so small and not so dazzling, it belongs to me.
One day, when the most beautiful stage in my heart was close to me, I found that I couldn't step on this dance - I was hurt. A wound that never recovers.
Therefore, this pure land is no longer an island I can inhabit, but a gray cage holding gray dreams and gray passion. I found that the stage of my inner dream collapsed in an instant.
Who am I and where do I live
What am I, who am I? Is it a dancer or a clown? I don't know. All I know is that I lost my freedom.
We are bound by the outside world. Our parents, society and school "fill up" us. They win. I became their most loyal servant.
But this servant lives in the ivory tower, the closest place to God in heaven, but she can no longer fly back to the world.
When the will is hollowed out, the light of love can't be "loaded into the warehouse" because of "inconsistent specifications". When the cold current comes, my world will cool to a hundred degrees below zero. My heart is like an icehouse.
Then, cry, with the fear of death of dreams.
I live in this ice cellar, eager to fly, but I dare not swing my wings. Yearn for freedom, but feel confused; yearn for truth, but dare not speak alone to praise the existence of truth, just because life is too easy.
So, from then on, I also moved to the vortex of doting. To extricate oneself is in vain.
Rebuild my stage
With scars and empty hearts, I came back and began to rebuild my own stage.
I no longer care about other people's eyes. I have no time to care whether I am good or bad in the eyes of the secular world. I no longer rely on others, no longer hide in the corner alone, and quietly watch my parents, school and society lay everything for me.
I want to open my arms, no longer delicate, let the cold wind pass by my ears, let every inch of hair moan and fly in pain in the wind.
I want to learn to grow in forbearance and understand life through experience.
I want to say out loud that I want to be a truly autonomous dancer, even if I'm the only one in the audience. I want to use the most unique dance posture, in their own stage attention.
Famous teachers' comments
There are two important requirements in the "writing basic level" part of the "examination outline": substantial content "and" fluent language ". "Substantial content" means to have substance and evidence, and display the theme of the article with enough high-quality materials; "fluent language" means to require standardized, accurate, coherent and appropriate language expression. "Inner solo dance" is an empty and general lyric prose.
In terms of content, the author should have understood the meaning of the question, but it is difficult to arouse readers' resonance due to the lack of realistic and full-fledged description. From the perspective of language expression, there are both advantages, that is, the author is more free to swing, and the author may read more books, but there are also defects. On the one hand, many sentences are unintelligible (for example, "I'm a solo mouse", "I'm building this wasteland like stage", "the light of love can't be 'loaded into the warehouse' because the specifications don't match", "just because life is too easy ”）, on the other hand, there are many sick sentences (such as "attracting attention on your own stage", etc.). (Tang Huizhong)